Quick & Dirty

I sometimes have so many ideas or thoughts I complete none of them. I haven’t posted in 2 weeks! That’s horrible. I’m a bad person.

I’m trying to make this blog different than my Facebook page, ie., not random thoughts and questions and feelings that will pass within the hour. I want to keep this as somewhere I discuss or share things that have a little more depth than how much the guy next to me on the train smells. With that being said, I still have 400 ideas in my head right now so I thought I’d at least do a Quick & Dirty post, and maybe make it a monthly thing.. maybe even weekly. WHO KNOWS! So here are some random thoughts I’ve had within the last couple of weeks…

I equally love and hate old people.

I either look at old people the way I do babies and puppies or I look at them the way I do Rob Ford. There is no in between.

As much as I love them (or hate them), there are two separate lists in Vanessa’s world in reference to old people:

1. Things I will do for old people, always.

  • Give up my seat
  • Carry bags
  • Help them cross the street
  • Hold doors for them
  • Pick up things for them if they’ve dropped something
  • Respond when they speak to me even if I’m clearly occupied with a book or iPod or both
  • Generally act as gentle as I can in order to not scare them

2. Things I will not do for old people, ever.

  • Allow them to bully/guilt me into doing anything on list #1
  • Purposely be close enough to smell them
  • Let them use the washer and/or dryer ahead of me in the laundry room if I was there first

Clearly this thought came from my night doing laundry this weekend. As much as I enjoy having a nice, sweet conversation with you, Lil’ Old Lady from my hood, don’t think it’s going to get you in front of me to use one of the three dryers that are currently working out of five. Better start getting back to your roots, Abuelita.

This is what you're used to anyway, lady.

Someone really needs to punch Rihanna in the face… again.

RiRi is someone that makes me very scared to have my own children. The chick gets beat by her man, spends the next year (or two?) slowly turning into a prostitute, and then, yesterday, releases a remix with same dude. If this is the type of person my children will have to look up to, said children will never exist.

Round Two *ding ding ding*


I really think they put crack in McDonald’s food

For the last 3 weeks I’ve been exercising, bringing a lunch to work, cooking at home, avoiding fast food, and trying not to drink [as much]. I’ve lost 4 lbs in two weeks and I feel healthier and more energetic already.

But man, I can’t stop thinking about McDonald’s.

This is serious. I work across the street from a McDonald’s. McDonald’s is one of our clients at work. The dude who sits across from me has a golden Big Mac that I longingly ogle all day, every day.

I love all fast food – Taco Bell, McDonald’s, any type of greasy Chinese food, Wendy’s, and my opinion is that the greasier the pizza is, the better it tastes.

But I don’t sit at my desk praying to the Scale Gods to keep me out of a pizza joint or a Taco Bell. I don’t imagine eating a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s. McDonald’s is the only food I get real, almost physical, cravings for. So obviously the only logical explanation is that they sprinkle each menu item with crack. Not enough for anyone to ever take legal action, but enough that after only 3 weeks avoiding it (including one cheat day when I was literally forced to be INSIDE a McDonald’s all day for work and eventually gave in to a McChicken, fries and Fruitopia) I am still thinking about it at least a few times a day. A. DAY.

Crack is wack… unless it’s in a Big Mac.

The bane of my existence

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About napsgetbraps

I love naps. And providing the world with my social commentary when I'm awake.
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